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Students, Pastors, & Cell Phones

Richard Hammar, for many years recognized as the leader of sexual abuse prevention in churches, once stated that through a survey of church practices, 81 percent of youth pastors indicated they engaged in one-to-one communication with youth group members at least weekly.  Many did so more frequently. 

He further stated that “this level of personal and intimate communication with minors was troubling for several reasons, most significantly, it opens the door to an intensification of the relationship that can lead to sexual intimacy either physically or indirectly.  Allowing youth leaders to communicate with minors without any supervision or accountability is a dangerous practice.  It is no different than a church’s senior pastor texting adult females in the church.”

With That In Mind, Does Your Ministry…………?

  1. Much like an effective sexual abuse prevention program, do you have a written set of guidelines and policies that set texting and social media communication boundaries for employees and volunteers who work with youth?  Be sure and share this policy with students, parents and of course staff.

  2. Does your youth staff obtain the written permission of the youth’s parents to communicate electronically with their children?

  3. Does your youth ministry use mass text and emails to large groups and avoid individual communication whenever possible?

  4. As should be stated in your sexual abuse/misconduct prevention policy, do you adhere to the “Never Alone” rule when texting a minor so that you are never texting a teen alone?

  5. Does your staff know that in the event of an inappropriate or even questionable text from one of your students, that they are not to delete the text, but report it to their supervisor?  Take the appropriate steps from there, a meeting with the parents, etc. but do not disregard any type of questionable text.

  6. Do you follow your state’s mandatory reporting laws regarding possessing, sending or knowledge of improper pictures and sexually explicit messages?

  7. Do you have a standard practice for when to communicate your guidelines and policies to staff?

Other Tips:

  • Limit texting – be mindful of over-texting and avoid flooding students with messages.

  • Keep it short – use concise messages that are easy to read and understand.

  • Send in daylight – send text message at normal hours; 8:00 a.m. to no later than 8:00 p.m.

  • Refer to other sources – when sharing details, refer students to a web page or other resource rating than including lengthy texts.

Students have cell phones. If they don’t yet, they probably will soon.  It can be a great way to communicate with them, but it carries an enormous responsibility so treat it accordingly.

Gary Benson

Gary Benson has been an agent for over 40 years, primarily serving churches and nonprofits. He is the agency principal for The Woodlands, TX office of Insurance One.